Deciding, should I homeschool my child or children is a very personal and specific decision. The variables that make families unique also means this not a one-size-fits-all question. Further, just because you can – should you?
Without a doubt, homeschooling can be a wonderful choice for a family. However, like many great things it does not automatically make it great for you and yours. Here we will deep dive into the questions you should know the answers to before you take the homeschooling leap.
Answer these questions first:
1. Are you currently frustrated with your child’s teacher and/ or school?
If you are you mostly happy with your child’s teacher, administrators, and/or school do not make a “knee-jerk” reaction to a single incident. Would first speaking to the appropriate teachers and/or administration help you work out the issue?
2. Would you like more control over your child[ren]’s education?
- Do you want to allow your child more time to be a kid?
- Do you want them to learn values from your home as opposed to state curriculum?
- Do you feel like the school is not servicing your child’s needs appropriately? (e.g. not following ARD directions or letting your gifted child coast because they’re done with everything and find worksheets boring.)
- Do you want to expose your children to subjects that public school doesn’t teach, such as Latin, cursive, Turkish Underwater Basket Weaving?
- Do you want your child to have the opportunity to learn in a more hands-on environment?
- Are you prepared to pay for, travel to see, and/or arrange these experiences?
- Do you want to be the one who gets to see the moment your child “gets it”?
3. Have you researched what it takes to start legally homeschooling?
Homeschool requirements vary from state to state. Getting started can be very simple or more involved but you need to know the ins and outs of your state before beginning.
4. Have you discussed homeschooling with your child’s other parent? And, are you both in agreement?
Like most things in marriage and a quality partnership, being on the same page will make your life much easier. One parent should not shoulder the burden of the children’s education. This will lead to guilt, resentment and overall nothing good for your union.
5. Is your child minimally interested?
While not required, as you are the adult and making decisions in the best interest of your child, it is helpful if they are on board. This is likely a bit of a non-issue with younger children, but those who are older and well connected at their schools may not think it is the best move.
6. Do you have a child that you feel would benefit from a non-traditional instructional setting?
Traditional school was designed for a very specific outcome and is largely based on standardized norms. Many kids fall outside of those “norms” and will benefit from a non-traditional setting. For instance, a wiggler will appreciate being able to take breaks or color laying down and free from the confines of a desk and chair. A child who thinks differently will benefit from an educated curated to their needs – whether that is exploration through art or finishing multiple levels of math in one year.
7. Do you want to be with your children all day? (No one is looking answer honestly!)
- When you homeschool this may mean forgoing your career or taking a pay cut if you have to reduce the time you work.
- Also, you will likely spend many days only at home with just your children which lends to a life where leaving the house and speaking to other adults is much reduced. While, there are co-ops, events, etc. – the majority of the time it will be you and the kids.
- Homeschooling is equivalent to at least a part-time job. Even if you unschool or have an independent teen, you are still directing your child and helping them get to the resources they need for following their interests, taking them to classes, etc.
- Are you prepared to learn and read a lot as you research everything? (from how children learn, how to teach XYZ, who is Charlotte Mason how is she different from Maria Montessori, what’s the difference between a toad and a frog, what does snake poop look like? EVERYTHING.)
8. Does your family have the resources or are you prepared to do what it takes to give your child the education and opportunities you want them to have?
- Can you afford a curriculum? Educational subsidies, tax write-offs and the like vary greatly by state and many offer no financial support. There are free and low-cost options available (we are happy to provide many!) but they may not be what you want. You may have to spend a lot of time piecing your ideal homeschool curriculum together to become exactly what you want if you can’t afford to buy it.
- How are you going to handle teaching subjects that you are weak in? Can you afford supplemental tutors/ classes or part-time programs?
9. Do you want the flexibility to travel whenever you want?
A solid perk of homeschooling is going on vacation while everyone else is in school. Aside from there being fewer people it usually a lot cheaper.
10. Do you want more family time?
Putting kids on a bus when it is dark and having them come home when it is dark can be a great blow to a family’s cohesiveness. Homeschooling will give you years with your children where they would otherwise be under the care of their school and teachers.
11. Do you want your children to be able to sleep as much as they need to?
Homeschooling means setting your own schedule. Some states have time minimums but you can still start your day whenever you want. Teenagers need a lot of sleep, naturally stay up late, and, yet, are usually the earlies start time in public schools. When you homeschool you set the wake up time and, particularly as they get older, they set their routines. School on the weekend and night or pushed to next week – completely okay when you skip a day during the week to go to the zoo or museum.
12. Are you worried about your child’s socialization?
That’s a trick question, homeschoolers often have more opportunities to “socialize” our children than kids in traditional 9-3pm schools.
Homeschooled children are often around children of all ages, not just their grade level, as well as adults. Speaking and interacting with others is rarely a homeschooler problem and if it is, it is generally not related to being a homeschooler
13. Can you handle the emotional responsibility of being the primary educator?
You are the one (usually) that the weight tends to fall on and with it, from time to time, comes feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and worry. You can tell yourself not to compare your child to that nine-year old who is doing Trig or the Supermom who looks like she taught her children Latin, worked out, took a shower, put on makeup, AND got dinner ready, but sometimes you do. It can be a heavy weight.
- Can you handle making your child cry over math? Obviously, this is not the goal but it happens more than you think it will.
- Can you handle crying over math? Frustration levels can run high in subjects that are not easily grasped by the student or they find boring.
14. Do you have a lot of friends who homeschool?
Homeschooling is not something to go into over peer-pressure. A few bad days at school are not a good reason to homeschool. It may look like it’s all park days and field trips but it is not. However, if you do join the “club” do you have friends to support you? People that can answer your questions, listen to your frustrations, and celebrate your wins?
- Alternatively, are you prepared to deal with less-than supportive people (some of them might be people you love dearly, some might be random people in the grocery line being nosy about why your kids aren’t in school).
Should I Homeschool?
It is a lengthy list but, like completing premarital counseling before starting a long term relationship, this is the beginning of a journey that for many will last more than a decade. Only you and your family can determine if this choice is right but, if you are ready, let’s get started.